I WANT TO BE A GIRL

1)
I WANT TO BE A FOOL
Then life wouldn’t be full
Of unanswerable questions
Existential angst, pain and pessimism
And I could get through in this life
Thinking that it was gonna be all right
Not thinking for a change that life was illusory
And that all we do is meaningless and arbitrary
In course, satisfaction, slowly replaced philosophy
In bed, giving head, fed up, she said,
“What difference does it make to me?”
And just then, in the python like grip of her lip,
I had, what alcoholics refer to as, ‘a moment of clarity’
It makes no difference from where you come
But where you’d like to be

2)
I WANT TO BE A GIRL
See how the other half lives in this world
Making the world go around me
A femme fatale, an anatomical mystery
Writing verse, prose and poetry
Without being branded effeminate
Getting away with writing badly, a Dostoevsky wannabe
My work could even afford to be late
I could make my publishers wait
Never meet deadlines on due date
I’d charge an exorbitant rate
My Beauty reassuring my fate
In the meantime, giving stock Beauty Queen speeches
World Peace, Mother Teresa, bikinis on beaches
Woman of substance before substance abuse
My platform to misuse
I could avoid working altogether too
Throw it all away, make merry and laugh
And before drying up, marrying the jerk
From the first paragraph
And I’d become the girl I always wanted to be
Feel my breasts whenever I want for free
I want to be inside her mind,
Feel her thoughts, all of a kind
I want to be her because that’s what I have got to be
To feel her thoughts to know if she felt anything for me
If I were her? Would she love then?
But when now I’m her; can I be me again?

3)
I WANT TO BE A BEE
I find insects fascinating and honest
They eat, defecate, procreate and rest
And when you get down to it
It’s all we ever do too
But we kid ourselves into believing
That life actually has a purpose and meaning
To be or not to be
That’s not even a question
To be a bee or not to be a bee
To be a bee but not to be or to be but not be a bee

4)
I WANT TO BE A WEREWOLF
I think my secret would somehow make me special
Girls would be attracted to me being vulnerable
And when I turned into a wolf on a full moon night
She’d moan and think that hairy men were quite alright

5)
I WANT TO BE A PARAPLEGIC
I’m not flippant. It does have some logic
THEN maybe it would be enough to just keep on breathing
Not another thought in the head but incessant paining
Yes, pain but at least facing life with it would be braving
Content with your disabilities;
Fell down the stairs, neck down paralyzed
Content with being a frozen vegetable,
Everyone sympathized
Without these things, one is supposed to chase after enlightenment
Only to end up less happy and in utter disappointment

6)
I WANT TO BE A DOMESTICATED, STRAY DOG
I’d get lots of sex and sunshine and regular meals to hog
But would not have to wear a collar or to stay leashed indoors
Bark needlessly and only when I want to, save my voice from getting hoarse
Wave my tail perfunctorily always and make squealing, false- gratitude tones
Whenever the lady of the house, in her sexy blouse, fed me the leftover bones

7)
I WANT TO BE EXTRATERRESTRIAL
Creature of unknown origins and surreal
A long, long time ago in the future
In a galaxy far, far away somewhere
I could be born an alien in a space odyssey
With more than even astronomical probability
But whether or not we’re the only ones in the universe,
And we may have our families, friends and homes
In our own ways, on this earth, it really is worse
That we’re all already aliens, we’re all alone
And is there a need for a war fuelled by Artificial intelligence?
With Bush already having taken actions that were nonsense
He should be abducted by our UFO silver space ship
He should be made to see
The ravaged earth he left to me
From beyond the stratosphere as he goes on his infinity trip

8)
I WANT TO BE A SUPERHERO
The one superpower that I want is to be able to do anything
And that is all
Also wearing the underpants over my trousers
Without being obscene at all
Yes, I want that too. That and the X-Ray vision
Not having to question life or my mission
Jumping from buildings without a safety net is hardly fun
And I have to try not to be a disappointment to my woman
She’d be expecting a superhero in bed
I don’t have balls of steel, mucous membrane instead

9)
I WANT TO BE A POET
Maybe you can tell that by now
Perusing through this poem somehow
Can’t write more, sorry, I’m bored

10)
I WANT TO BE LOVED
It’s all I ever wantedAnd THAT is all